Sometimes it just rears its ugly head at the most inconvenient times. It is always unwanted. Usually unexpected. The best way for me, when this occurs, is to realize it will pass, and that there is frequently a lesson in it. It’s when I compare myself to others, or look at the the outer (rather than inner) that this happens. Usually I find this emotion frequently happens when I am not being true to myself.

There’s a part of me that tends to judge my progress by how I am doing (in comparison to those around me). Whenever I do this, I am always defeated. Defeated before I start. Buddha said ‘If every bird had to be the best singer in the forest, the woods would be very quiet, indeed’. Whenever, I base my progress on how much better I am than another, I always fail. When, however, I allow myself to honor and cultivate that which is greatest in myself, I always manage to succeed.

Yesterday was my last day to care for my friend, Scott’s two rabbits. Today he returns from a three day business trip. Before this weekend, I really didn’t have much experience with rabbits. I have since learned that there is really an endearing quality to them. Cute as a well as smart, bunnies are also curious, active and friendly. Carlo, the smaller one, (who resembles a small burrow more than a rabbit), has come out of his shell and is becoming more outgoing. Luis (as the other one wants to be called), Is all over the place. I let them run all over the apartment (rabbit proofing Scott’s apartment by closing doors, or putting up baby gates for any unsafe area).  The rabbits got to explore, and I (bribed with peanut butter, chocolate bits and a funny video (‘Death at a Funeral’) Relaxed. A good time was had by all three of us.

The last post I wrote occurred right after my brother, Stephan, died. It was a tribute of sorts to him. Since that time, much has happened. Most of it good. The Universe has bent over backwards to let me see that I am taken care of. Reassurance upon reassurance has appeared to comfort my grieving soul. God never shuts a door without opening a window. And, although I have no idea about life from moment to moment, I have been strongly reminded that it is going to be ok. I have since then decided that, since I have been given the opportunity to embrace life, I owe it to my brother to be as healthy, and embrace life as fully and completely as possible. He would have wanted that for me. For all I know, he is smiling down on me and doing just that. I truly am blessed. It has just taken me some time to see that. And for this, I am thankful.