My sister has stage four cancer. She is going to begin chemotherapy in about a week. I hate this so much! I am mad, sad and devastated. I don’t know how to act. I don’t know what to do. I run the gamut of emotions from anger to grief. None of it even comes close to the dread I am anticipating when she makes her transition. My brother just died. Soon my sister will. The cat is 20. Any time now….Then I will be alone. Not really alone, but family-less. Still, regardless of all the friends and well good meaning acquaintances. I still hurt. It is times like this when I realize how much my Spiritual strength is holding me up. And I am grateful.

The last post I wrote occurred right after my brother, Stephan, died. It was a tribute of sorts to him. Since that time, much has happened. Most of it good. The Universe has bent over backwards to let me see that I am taken care of. Reassurance upon reassurance has appeared to comfort my grieving soul. God never shuts a door without opening a window. And, although I have no idea about life from moment to moment, I have been strongly reminded that it is going to be ok. I have since then decided that, since I have been given the opportunity to embrace life, I owe it to my brother to be as healthy, and embrace life as fully and completely as possible. He would have wanted that for me. For all I know, he is smiling down on me and doing just that. I truly am blessed. It has just taken me some time to see that. And for this, I am thankful.