Why is there a need (for me) to keep rehashing things in my mind when I am upset about them? It is almost as if I believe that if I think about it enough, I’ll be able to change what’s already happened. It never works; I find myself getting emotionally recharged each time I do this. This is insanity, because the definition of insanity is ‘doing the same thing more than once and expecting different results’. When I let the situation go, however, and stop rehashing it, the energy and emotion connected to the incident dissipates.

Well, things have been challenging lately. I don’t seem to fit in. I am shifting on so many levels, that I hardly recognize myself anymore. I am learning that, regardless of appearances, there is always some solution. Sometimes the ego is so loud, it takes every ounce of concentration to hear the answer. But, taking the time to listen always gives a direction.

I recently made a decision which I regret. I tried to take control-instead of letting a situation develop naturally. Now I have to step back and let Spirit repair things and take charge. There is always something positive in every situation. This can be a growth-producing opportunity if I am willing to step back and let it be.

Last night I meditated for an hour. Usually I do it for a shorter time. This time, however, I found a greater need to go within and reconnect with my Higher Self. The experience was all I hoped it would be. I found myself once again at peace. A sense that all is as it needs to be, returned.

can be a creative, positive thing. Great works of art, solutions, answers, can all be created through this. Yet, when not used positively and with respect, it can have the opposite result. The I Ching teaches us that the Superior man or woman understands that the first thoughts one has, on awakening, can be the purest impressions of all, because they are unsullied by worries and day to day thoughts. Meditation is one way to tap into the true essence which is one’s Imagination.

I feel that I am not doing all I need to do in order to grow spiritually. I doubt the process. I get impatient. Right now I am afraid (of being unemployed), depressed (because I am afraid) and excited (about the future) all at one time. In her book, ‘Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting’, Lynn Grabhorn (the author) talks about the importance of feelings and emotions. Change your experiences by changing your focus.

Today is a beautiful spring day

About anything. This is supposedly a high place to be in. Very open. Very non judgmental. I know, however, that I need to have more direction. I woke up with a feeling of urgency. I need to get out there and do something to make a difference. I realize this needs to start from within. I am just not sure how to get there. I guess a good place to start with would admitting I don’t have the answers, asking for help and then letting Spirit guide me. This attitude is Hexagram 15, Modesty.

Today is Easter. Although I don’t traditionally do much, it is still a holiday. Everyone I know (except myself) had dinner plans. My dinner plans included television, coffee and spending time with my 18 year old cat. Then, I got the idea of contacting a friend, who lives nearby. What a great afternoon! She came over, we had too many cookies and great conversation. Sometimes spontaneity and last minute plans really are best.

Well, I am sitting here, with no idea about what to do next. I think the thing I need to do is trust my intuition. Perhaps meditation for a couple hours would help-at least in terms of connecting me with my Higher Self. I always talk about doing this. Perhaps I need to practice what I preach more.