‘That’ being a sense of insecurity. ‘This’ is the tendency I sometimes have to compare myself to others. Case in point; I was having dinner with a friend-a woman about my age, with whom I have much in common. Things were going well, the conversation was flowing, the food was wonderful…a good time was being had by both of us. Then I began looking around. When I did, I observed that almost every other table there, consisted of couples. And although I didn’t really think much about the compatibility of each pair, I did notice that almost everyone there (except for my friend and myself) seemed to be on a date. Why, I wonder, does the fact that I was there without a date bother me so much? I’m not really looking for a relationship, yet, here I was, taking what had been a perfectly nice dinner, and making it a little less nice by comparing myself to others. Anyway, now that I am home and relaxing, I recognize that every time I focus on what I think am missing in my life, instead of appreciating what I do have, I become a little off balance. I never realized being human would be so difficult.

This weekend was simply delightful! On Saturday I attended my monthly Meetup group. An incredible speaker, palm reader Diana Barnhill, shared her expertise with 23 eager, interested people. We all learned a lot. Later that afternoon, I attended a workshop on how to channel, with three other lucky participants. Then today, I went to my Metaphysical church and had great conversations and fellowship with many others. I love weekends! It is so nice to be able to connect with many people in so many different venues. Sometimes I think I am not reaching out and connecting with others, then something occurs, and I see that that I am doing just that. When I release the need to decide how I think something needs to look, I have learned another valuable lesson about going with the flow.

Today someone told me something about myself, and I had to take a long cold look at where I am. The comment made was objective-it dealt with how my actions were affecting others. They were 100% right. Once I got over my initial indignation, I recognized what a gift I had received. I am grateful for having received this wake-up call.

Every time I get complacent or egoistic, it seems like the Universe says ‘Oh Yeah?’, and pulls the rug from under me. I welcome this, because it makes me remember that I don’t have all the answers. This seems to be a common theme these days: being put in my place or having to reassess. Can’t think of any examples. I will say God has a great sense of humor. Even though I have no idea what the next chapter in my life will look like, I welcome the chaos, because without it there is no change…no transformation. After all the only thing certain is that nothing is certain. I like that- not knowing. It leaves the door open for a whole lot of change.

I’ve been finding myself in a less positive space lately. I’ve always struggled somewhat with maintaining a balanced state of mind (especially challenging when you’re a Libra, like myself). Anyway, I don’t really know exactly where this impatience comes from, but it’s there nevertheless. It rears its head when I least expect or welcome it. Often this seems to happen when I compare myself to another person. Even though Buddha said that the woods would be silent if every bird needed to sing the best, I find myself comparing myself to others more these days. Maybe it’s because I feel less accomplished than I want. Maybe it’s because I don’t know what I want (not necessarily a bad thing), maybe it’s because I just am. Anyway, the point is that when I get this way, I become impatient. I want change, but I am not sure how this change should look. It’s especially at times like this when I am tested about whether I believe that faith like water (slow and steady) is better than faith like fire (fast results, short effects). Anyway, I don’t know where this impatience is coming from, but it will be interesting to see where it ends up.

Gratitude-the tool for positive manifestation. There are several reasons for this. The first, is that gratitude puts you in a positive state of mind-making it easier to appreciate the little things. The next,is that gratitude has the tendency to make you more positive and, as a result, gives a sense of well being. When you feel good, you are more inclined to do things which allow the feeling to continue. You are also more inclined to see the blessing in things. Gratitude is one way of telling the Universe that you want more (of what is happening) to continue. Oprah Winfrey suggests making a list of at least three things you are grateful for each day. When you do this, it tends to make you more thankful for everything, and as a result, good things seem to happen more frequently.

There’s a fine line between being proactive and being open. I often equate being overly structured (in terms of being set in one’s ways) to reading a map. You have a destination in mind. The map, however, is old and outdated. The fact that you are so determined to use this map, keeps you from observing that the signs all around you have changed, and no longer will get you to your destination If you would put down the map and look around, you might notice a more effective way to do things.

I saw a show tonight with a friend, ‘When Tang Met Laika’. A world premier at the Denver Center For Performing Arts (where I work in the phone campaign room). One of the advantages of this position is that I have to see a lot of shows. Makes for more knowledge when we talk to the customers. Anyway, I never expected to like the show as much as I did. Scott, my theater partner also enjoyed it. I guess the secret, if there is a secret, to enjoying oneself is to be in the present as much as possible. No expectations, no judgement, just pure joy for living. Doesn’t always work, and when it does, it’s simply wonderful!

There’s a time and place for everything. It is exciting and reassuring to see how the desire I have, to be of service, is manifesting perfectly and effortlessly. This manifestation is occurring in a different way than I imagined, however, the result is still the same. If just opening and allowing can manifest so much, just imagine how limitless the possibilities, of just allowing, are. This is so exciting, I am overflowing with joy! At a time like this, when so many are searching for direction and some kind of answers, it is reaffirming to know that everything they need exists. They just have to ask.

My wonderful, creative, funny sister, age 57, is fighting stage 4 lung cancer. I say ‘fighting’ because she really is beating all odds. A longtime smoker, she was first diagnosed in June. A week after going home (from the hospital) she had a stroke. She has recovered from the stroke. She is undergoing chemo, and has surprised all her doctors, by how well she is doing.. No one really knows what the future will bring. She is still around, however, and fighting strong. She is an incredible fighter, and an inspiration to everyone she meets. I guess one never knows just how strong they are, until they have to be. This experience could be the greatest gift she’ll ever receive, if she uses the events of the past six months to learn how capable she is. I think she will.